Talk Until you are Healed

You know what we are so good at doing? Hiding and masking. I am sure I am not the only one that has been able to receive that award. What award? Oh you know “Best Poker face.” There was a time you may have looked at me and you didn’t know what I was going through internally. You didn’t know I was crying about 90% of my day and had sleepless nights. I was up worrying, and praying, how is that for a combination? Ha! Trust me it doesn’t work. You see so many of us including me when faced with hardship or something that has come to rock your boat we run and hide. That is the first reaction to us facing trials. We hide it from family, friends, and anyone that could remotely judge you based on what you are going through.

You feel isolated by your own doing because surely no one is making you feel that way. We automactially put up bars and walls as if our hearts were Fort Knox. We can’t reveal it to anyone because you are entering into a state of denial. Denial that this is happening to you. Denial that the light at the end of the tunnel is hope when really you know it’s a train and it’s coming to wreck you.

So, we do what we know best and that is hide it, and just continue on as if nothing is wrong. You force yourself to walk around as if you are fine. You are telling yourself you can handle this alone.  Inside you are dying to just tell someone, anyone that would listen. I am telling you right now whatever it is you are facing you will come out stronger and better. I know it’s cliche and you can’t see pass the hurts and the tears that blind you but TRUST me you will survive. How? When? I don’t know but rest assure you will make it. You have to talk it out, cry it out, and work through it. Talk until you are healed. How long is that? I don’t know everyone is different and is facing different trials. I know one thing; not talking about it prolongs your better days. Not talking about it doesn’t lead to healing. Not talking about it keeps you exisiting but not living. You have to talk until you are HEALED. Let me say it again…Talk until you are healed! You may be asking “Who Vasti, Who do I talk to” and my answer is the person that you know will NEVER get tired of listening. This person will always welcome you to talk about it and they will LISTEN. They will not try to figure it out for you. They will not give you a 1-2-3 step program. They will let you cry, yell, use colorful language (lol) and allow you to do it however long you need and whenever you need it.

My sister told me two statements that have stayed with me forever.

1. Don’t suffer in silence.

2. Accept your reality.

When I tell you that those two statements alone unlocked something in me and I felt like I reached a new place of healing as soon as I realized both statements were true. I couldn’t go through this alone and I needed to get out of the clouds. Everyone is different and it will happen at different times in your process of when it snaps for you. There is no road map or instruction book to healing emotionally. I am still daily entering new stages and remember myself on day one of my trial and I still can not believe I survived the pain and hurt. I am truly thankful for the people in my life that never get tired of me talking about it and have the patience with me. They play such a big role in my healing. Have I arrived? Have I perfected healing? No and No.

Every day brings about a new sense of gratitude and joy for my healing. I remember one of the blogs I follow of a popular speaker she said “You can not heal what you conceal.” I don’t have to explain much of what that means because I am sure you know exactly what that means to you and what it is that you need to stop concealing. Not sure if this is helping anyone, but I sure do hope it helps even just one person. The person that doesn’t see themselves out of this struggle. The person that is suffering alone. The person that is worried of others opinions. To you, I say find your person, find a church, therapist someone who will NEVER get tired of listening. Let it out. Talk it out.

If you are the listening friend please do just that LISTEN. Unless they ask for your input stay silent don’t try to figure it out for them. There is healing in those awkward silent moments. It’s ok to not say a word. Be there. Be present. Be the Love they need.

Still talking it out-

Vasti